A couple of weeks ago, my garage buddy and I planned a “garage therapy” day. Just a day to hang out, getting some things done and getting dirty in the garage. We had no real big jobs planned, just some maintenance jobs (oil change, differential service, etc.).
So we were running off schedule but everything was lined up: 2 different bottles of single malt scotch- check; Romeo y Julieta cigars-check; cold beer- check. Now, off to get the items I didn’t get the chance to beforehand; you know, the “other stuff.”
So off to Wal-Mart to grab the best price on Mobil 1 and a Fram Xtra-Guard filter. That was quick and painless. Now for gear lube for the rear end. I’m looking and while talking with Steve, he mentions he moved his Corvette onto Royal Purple oil a few months ago and maybe I should try it.
Back story: my Impala SS has been groaning from its differential for the last 2 1/2 years. Its been serviced twice and I’ve used the GM friction additive each time. In fact, Steve did it with me the last time. Each time, it was better for a short time and started the “posi moan” again on slow turns and clacking like it was eating shims for lunch. I talked to my friend at the shop I used and he started prepping me for replacing the whole pig. In the meantime. I figured maybe now was the time to step up to a real performance diff. So I’m eyeing Strange Engineering. Randy’s, Dana..and looking at big bucks. End-Back story.
So, Steve’s rapping Royal Purple and I decide, it makes sense to try it. But Wal-Mart doesn’t carry it so off to O’Reillys to grab some Royal Purple gear lube. We find it right quick and it tells us NOT to use any additional friction additives so that offset the cost. So I decide to buy enough of all of it to do the job twice, just it case. So get a few gaskets and we’re out of there.
So now fully equipped its back to the shop and the oil change goes by in 20 minutes..including double checks, and we’re onto the rear end work.
Off comes the rear cover and it drains right quick and things look good. No shavings on the magnet, no clap-a-doodle in a puddle on the bottom, no excessive play, nothing at all. Steve does a great job cleaning the cover and I got things cleaned up on the case.
So he’s getting the gasket glued to the cover..or tried to. Gasket doesn’t fit. And now it starts….
“Are you sure Steve?” I said innocently. “Hmm..well I’m looking at it..doesn’t look right to me” he says, putting his glasses on.
“Scotch?”
“Sounds good”
I get a couple of fingers of scotch and we get out the cigars. We sit in the shade and wax poetic about Pontiac Bonnevilles, modern 500hp LS series engines, Bunkie Knudsen, the re-emergence of the classic flamed paintjob (he still hasn’t fully embraced it but he is learning/trying), etc.
So we finish up and we decide to go back and get the right gasket. We take the cover with us and back to O’Reillys we go. Our helpful associate Carl looks the part number up again and confirms the part he gave me. Now the dance starts.
He looks at the gasket and the cover…confirms that the gasket is not right and hits the books. We go back over the details and info…nope, still the same. Step 1. I look at Steve. He’s starting to harsh his mellow. I suggest we look at other products as Carl calls his contact at Fel-Pro. “No, checked that; that’s the number I have.” Carl says into the phone.
“Lemme check the back again”
“No problem”
Carl comes out from the back with another gasket; a quick check confirms: wrong-o.
I’m tired of standing and thinking of another scotch. Steve looks like he’s determining who he’ll have to kill first.
“GM made a gajillion of these rear ends and put them in police cars; they have to be serviced.” Steve blurts out. I point out that they stopped making them in 2000, ten years ago.
Carl is calling his contact at Mr Gasket. Same general conversation then he says, “Impala SS” and looks at me. I give him the nod. Apparently the gaskets I got are for a Caprice which have a smaller ring than my Impala. Good news!
Bad news- Mr Gasket is no longer “supporting” this differential and therefore, neither is anyone else. Steve has a look like that guy you see in the movies where he’s about to scream that somebody better start giving him answers before it gets ugly.
Carl looks at me and of course, he is going to refund the 8.00 I spent on the two gaskets but he doesn’t have any gaskets. He does mention that most guys (I’m assuming he means guys that actually work on their cars or actual mechanics)just use RTV. I look at the tube of RTV. The smallest one is 17.00.
So now I went from 2 bad gaskets for 8.00 to no gaskets available to 17.00 for a tube of RTV that would last a week at a shop ans which would last me a year, or it dried up.
But I know there’s Dahlwinnie and Laphroaig at home and I’m not working. “Well, we can check with other auto parts stores to see if they have any” Steve says helpfully and then proceeds to cross-examine Carl as to why a gasket-maker would not keep producing gaskets for a rear end that was such widely used. Carl looks sheepish and Steve starts really going off.
I decide that we need to hit the last place you want to buy maintenance parts….the auto dealership! GASP!!
We hit the car and truck up to the Chevy dealership. I used to go to this dealership for my warranty work and when I couldn’t or didn’t have time for the repairs but it wss taken over by another dealer and now, not so much.
We pop in and in 10 minutes and 18.00 later, I have my two gaskets. Steve and I debate the issues and merits of gasket production, parts availability, Dahlwinnie vs. Laphroaig, and how great the day is.
Back at the shop, we get a beer and start the puttering. The gasket is correct and Steve has it on in a flash. As it dries, we start the usual double-checks and get ready to finish the job. The cover goes back on but luckily I’m a lefty and he’s a righty so we swap out the cramped opportunities (which are plentiful under this car, even as big as it is, because there’s a huge gas tank under there with what may be the sharpest ‘+@*#- heat shield ever put on a car) and the job is done. At least until the lube goes back in.
Now who is the genius that puts the filler hole on the side? Ok, the gear lube container is too big to get high enough to pour out. I’d like to see the funnel that would enable even a viscous liquid like this to get there.
I resort to the tried and true “cram it in, squeeze the hell out of it and smash it up as high as possible.” It works; its ugly, but effective. It’s also not enough. Back to the store.
So, a lot of the time was eaten up on trips to the store/dealer. But the job gets done and we take it out to an industrial parking lot area to run the eights. We do them backward, forward, do them backward again. We even do a couple (ahem) high speed loops. It sounds better but not great but we call it a day.
As we clean up, we start debating again why we went to such trouble to get a gasket…
Well, no reason not to have another cigar and a few more fingers of scotch.
Pass that lighter, Steve.
Another successful garage therapy day!
Tags: Fel-Pro, Impala SS, Mobil 1, Mr. Gasket, O'Reillys, Royal Purple
